One.

Usually, the first entry of a blog is pertinent to either A. "HELLO, MY NAME IS ___. NICE TO MEET YOU." or B. "I AM GOING TO JUMP RIGHT IN AND IGNORE THAT THIS IS MY FIRST AND KEEP ON GOING WITH THE FLOW AS IF NOTHING HAPPENED." Incidentally, this is how I feel about virgins.
I'd rather tell you why it is that I named this particular blog, The Avocado Blogs.

It all started Sunday night when I got together with some old neighborhood friends. They insisted on watching multiple episodes of Keeping Up With the Kardashians all to inevitably climax to the epic premiere of Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami. It was during one of these episodes, Khloe Kardashian (my favorite, personally) was seen eating a monstrous salad which I then began to crave.
What does one do when they want a salad so big, health and good morality punches you in the face?
They go to The Cheesecake Factory, the nicest restaurant chain in all of humanity.
With a menu so large, it requires its pages to be numbered, I was immediately excited when I saw this floating around a catering advertisement.
Lo and behold, the avocado egg roll. The waiter was even elated at my elation, and my date for the evening agreed that nobody that I have ever met has a fondness for the avocado quite like I. His response was, "Jackie, you love avocado so much, you should blog about it. Yeah, yeah, and call your blog 'The Avocado Blog." to which I responded, "Hah, I will!"
And there we have it, folks, The Avocado Blog, a blog about any and everything I deem pretty neat and interesting, where somewhere inside there may be a tidbit involving my latest experience with an avocado.
Any new readers can comment about whatever it is they want, as long as, for their first comment, they say anything (even negative, but I might frowny face) they desire about avocados, be it a recipe, a cool trick, an awkward childhood experience, or "I've never tried it, but okay." or even, "Hey, I get guacamole at Chilis sometimes, is that cool?" Sure it's cool.
Cool as a cucumber? Nay, cool as an avocado.

So, stemming off of my love for The Cheesecake Factory, I must also assure you of my love for that which is CBS's The Big Bang Theory, which will be going into its third season on September 21st. With the apartment-esque bonds seen in Friends, the cliquy, bewildering yet immaculate friendships found in Seinfield, the boyish humorisms from That 70s Show and the wonderful intellectual witticisms of Frasier (mixed with Discovery Channel..and maybe the MENSA society), The Big Bang Theory is perfect.
Except for one thing.

Penny, played by 8 Simple Rules's Kaley Cuoco is wonderfully bright, cute, and charismatic. Penny is from Omaha, Nebraska and has come to New York seeking fame but unfortunately finds herself in a one person apartment across from two physicists and working as a waitress at The Cheesecake Factory.

Okay, people, incase you've never been inside one, THIS is The Cheesecake Factory:



This is a scene from when the fellows in The Big Bang Theory come to visit Penny at work:


They do not have a "Bacon Lover's Pizza" at the Cheesecake Factory FIRST OF ALL, and secondly, they do NOT require their workers to wear heinous mustard yellow sweater vests.

This, and only this is my strike against The Big Bang Theory. You don't HAVE to write in that her character works at The Cheesecake Factory; it isn't essential. If this is the best set you can afford, then just have it be a simple small town diner-esque place, or, shit, Denny's.
Okay, okay, I'll compromise at Ground Round.

In other news, my phone has gone to absolute, complete shit. I am the not even remotely proud owner of the ENV2, which is the most terrible excuse for a phone in the world. I'm this close to hyperbolizing its incompetence by saying, "I'd rather have a Nokia!" I've had it for fourteen months. After six, it started shutting off randomly, and after eight, it stopped sending me all of my texts messages when they were originally sent. It likes to type whatever it wants to instead of what my fingers tell it to, and just today, the entire face stopped responding to anything, and my texting completely seized.
So because it's two months past "warentee" which I HAD NEVER HEARD OF, I have to pay $50 for a new one.
Too bad I can't text or I'd simply sit down, shut up and wait in the wings for the best news I've heard all day:
iPHONE and VERIZON may GET IT ON.
Everyone knows the iPhone is the best phone, and Verizon is the best carrier.
This is like the time Zooey Deschanel said she was going to marry Ben Gibbard.

Everyone knows that Perfect and Perfect go together.
God, why can't there be an app for THAT?





This concludes my time at the moment!
Until next time,
<-Admire this.
Or listen to what I've been listening to ALL DAY!!